A beautiful lie
by Johnnie Chaos
Summary: Lies, drugs, abuse and cutting.. all part of this H20. The usual relationships, but will they last through all the drama? Read and Review, i will try and update daily.
1. Cutting into the past

**  
Cleo's POV**

I sat in my room thinking. How could this tear us apart? I haven't talked to Rikki or Emma in days, who knows what they think about this. I never figured they would find out, but they did. I put my face in my hands and wanted to sob. I lost my two best friends because of a stupid habit. My mom is gone and she can't help me with this problem. Who knew it would be me dealing with this. Kim broke my daze by pounding on my door.

"Cleo! I want breakfast!" She hollered from the hallway.

"Get it yourself, you lazy little pest." I screamed back. I heard a few stomps and more whining.

"Cleo!" My father blared. "Come help your sister." I sighed, it looks like Kim gets what she wants again. I brought my hand over my recent additions on my upper arm, they felt like random bumps on my skin. I covered my arms with my sleeves and stormed out into the hallway.

"Dad she is old enough to make toast herself. All she has to do is drop bread in the toaster, and tada! ITS DONE. But no, little Kim rules this house." My voice began to rise as Kim gawked at me.

"Dad said you have to take care of me, and I'm hungry." She squawked.

"Kim, make breakfast yourself!" I groaned and put my head on the table. She gaped at me and then threw bread into the toaster and continued to stare at me.

"There, situation resolved." My dad smiled and headed into the bathroom.

"Pest." I mumbled. She stuck her tongue out at me and I flipped. Underneath the table, I extended my hand out and tipped over her milk glass.

"Uhhhg, this always happens!" She yelped and I giggled and went back into my room. I jumped onto my bed and looked at the time, 7:25. I still have time before the bus comes, I guess. I walked over to my dresser and threw my hair into a curly, messy bun. I pinned back the strays and smoothed it out a bit. I then picked up my brown eyeliner and gently grazed it around my eyelids. Now mascara. I then walked into my closet and put on a jersey shirt. You know, those shirts that are a little longer than a t-shirt? I threw on my jean capris and I was ready to go. I dreaded school, nothing good came out of it anymore, anyways. The doorbell rang and I knew who it was. It was Lewis. I smiled and opened the door, but he wasn't smiling. He grabbed my arm and yanked me into my room.

"Cleo, when were you going to tell me about this?" He asked, his voice was filled with betrayel and hurt. I stared at my floor. I was too ashamed to talk to him about this. "Where?" He harshly asked. I brought up my hand to my sleeve to reveal over ten deep cuts in my upper arm. He flinched and brought his hand to my arm. "Cleo, Why?" I frowned and shrugged. He stretched his arms out and embraced me. "Cleo, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. I knew this would be hard on you, I just had no idea."

**_I know that stopping is hard to do  
But just think for one second  
To what this is doing to you  
But deep down inside  
This songs for another girl  
Who can take this pain away  
Once in a while  
I try to forget this hate  
Ill rest on it today_**

**Sitting on your bed  
The mind will just regress  
And things that once were  
Well never be again  
Swallowing this dust  
I think about this trust  
That once was before  
But will never be again**

**Falling back  
To you  
And I won't  
And I won't  
And I try  
And I try  
Do you see  
That my jeans  
Have a c on the side  
Wanting more  
Not giving in  
And I won't  
And I won't  
And I try  
And I try  
Do you see  
That my jeans  
Have a c**

"Come on, Lewis, we'll be late for the bus." I halfsmiled and we walked out. It looked as if he was almost in tears. I grabbed my backpack and slid it on my shoulder. We opened the door and walked down the street to the stop sign, this was the bus stop. We waited there, in akward silence. How did he find out?

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A/N: So what did you guys think of chapter one? And also if you didnt know, song lyrics are the bolded words. It's just to go along with the story, kind of get in the character's pov a little more. So anyways, please please please R&R :D

I'll try and update daily, I usually have time on my hands now.


	2. Ghost like notes

**Lewis's POV**

Why would Cleo of all people be cutting? She seems like a happy girl. She seems so.. I just don't know anymore. I was talking with Rikki and she told me. She said Cleo was alone in the moonpool when they swam and found her by herself. They caught a glimpse of her arm but didn't say anything. How could Cleo not have told me! I am basically her bestfriend that she tells everything to. Recently she didn't tell me as much and then she just stopped. Ever since we broke up she has been so distant. I could go days without talking to the girl, she would just disappear. I saw the cuts on her upper arm today, they were deep. How could she do that to herself.

"Hey Lewis." Cleo smiled at me and leaned against the locker next to mine. I opened my locker and grabbed my physics book.

"Cleo, I.." I started but my throat became dry. I coughed and then restarted. "I just don't know what to say. Like, what am I supposed to say to that?" Her face went from smiling to a deep frown.

"You could just drop it, Lewis. That would be great." She turned and started to walk away and I grabbed her arm.

"Cle-" She groaned in pain. I looked at her arm and on her sleeve I could see blood. It was coming out fast. Blood began to ease down her arm and drip onto the floor.

"Look what you did, Lewis!" She grabbed a towel out of my locker and shoved it into her sleeve and began to dab. I'm not sure if bleeding would turn her into a mermaid, but just to be safe. She ran into the bathroom, I couldn't follow her, I'm a guy! I turned to see Rikki.

"What happened?" She asked looking at my hands, they were covered in blood.

"Cleo." I mumbled. She nodded.

"Where is she?" She asked turning her head, looking for Cleo.

"The bathroom. Could you check on her, Rikki, please I'm worried about her." She sighed and strode to the bathroom. I returned to my locker and waited, and waited. There was no sign of either of them. The five minute bell rang, I have to go to class.

**Rikki's POV**

I walked into the bathroom and looked under the stall.

"Cleo?" I whispered. "Where are you?" I listened and I heard a small grunt in the next stall. I jumped and peeked over the stall and Cleo was dabbing her arm. The bleeding must have just stopped. She looked up and carefully reached for the handle to let me in. She was in the handicapped stall. I looked at her and she kept her eyes fixed on her arm. "Are you okay?" I questioned her. She's been so secluded lately.. and usually that's me. I wish I knew what was going on inside of her head.

"No." She quietly stated and dabbed her arms a little more. I glanced at her and saw the tears in her eyes.

"You can tell me about it, Cleo. You don't have to keep yourself bottled up, you know." She nodded and hugged me. "What's on your mind?" She sort of smiled and wiped her eyes, and then wiped the tears on her pants.

"Breaking up with Lewis was one of the biggest mistakes in my life, my mom hates us so she left, and Kim is driving me bonkers, and I'm so distant from you guys and I can't stand it." Wow, I was surprised she would just come out like that.

"See, that wasn't hard was it?" She shook her head and smiled. The five minute bell filled echoed through the bathroom. "Come on, Cleo, we shouldn't be late to class. Here, let me help you." I wiped the running mascara from her cheeks, and opened the stall. The bathroom was clear. I led her out of the bathroom and looked for Lewis, he was nowhere in sight. She looked around for him. "It's okay, he probably just left early to class."I reassured her. She looked to me and smiled. I'm cool with Cleo, but how will Emma react to all of this? We walked into homeroom and I took my chair behind Nate and Cleo took hers behind Lewis. Lewis turned and handed her a note.

Sprawled across the front of it was 'Urgent!!' I looked over to Zane. He transferred back to our school and he sat right to the left of Nate. Nobody knows that we are dating again. He gave me those eyes, those eyes that make me want to melt.

**_Prison gates won't open up for me  
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'  
Oh, I reach for you  
Well I'm terrified of these four walls  
These iron bars can't hold my soul in  
All I need is you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And oh I scream for you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_**

**_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth saving me_**

**_Heaven's gates won't open up for me  
With these broken wings I'm fallin'  
And all I see is you  
These city walls ain't got no love for me  
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story  
And oh I scream for you  
Come please I'm callin'  
And all I need from you  
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_**

He put his hand behind his back, and in between his fingers was a note as well. I stealthily reached for it and looked at the front. "Rikki" Instead of the i's being dotted with dots, he dotted them with hearts. Zane could be adorable when he wanted to be. I looked over to Cleo and she had yet to open her note, she looked as if she was frozen. Her fingers grazed the bottom of the note and slowly opened it. Her face became whiter with each word she read, and when she finished she looked like a ghost.

* * *

A/N: Tell me what you think :D or if you have any ideas you can tell me :). It's getting interesting though! R&R thanksss :


	3. Late again

**Emma's POV**

Great, I'm going to be late to school again. I have to tell someone. I have to. I can't tell Cleo, she will flip, and Rikki? Who knows with Rikki, she's been very secretive herself lately. I looked in the mirror. Jeeze, I look god awful. Bags under my eyes, a few spots of faded acne and even a blemish next to my right nostril. I quickly grabbed for the cover up and smeared it all over my face. There, now at least I wont look so zombyish. I tied my hair back into a pony tail and grabbed clothes out of my closet. This isn't normally like me, but honestly right now, things are so horrible that anything goes. I walked into the kitchen and my mother stared at me.

"Oh, Emma, are you seriously going to school like that?" She asked staring me up and down. "Come here, doll, and let me fix your makeup." She licked her finger and walked towards me.

"Mom, it's fine. Can you please just drive me to school?" I asked and adjusted my sweatpants.

"Alright, dearie, get in the car." She smiled at me and tucked a stray hair behind my ear. I opened the door and walked to the car. I sat there and waited. Oh god I feel sick. Hopefully I don't puke in the car. I hopped in the front seat as my mom came around to the other side. I just looked on. The main thing to do when I am keeping something from my mom is to not look at her, because if you do you will end up spilling everything. She started the car and backed out of the driveway. She continued to drive as she glanced at me a few times. "Are you alright, Emma? Is something wrong?" She asked in her caring motherly voice. I shook my head no. "Well, something must be. You are never like this." She pulled up in front of the school, I turned and kissed her cheek. "Emma, you can talk to me." She smiled.

"I'm just tired, mum. I've been working alot at the Juice net cafe and Wilfred wants to move me up to a manager, but I have to train two new people. Yeah, I'm just tired, that's all." I grinned back at her and her face lit up.

"First time i've seen you smile in days. Alright then, dear, have a great time at school." I nodded and turned towards school. Great.. If only I could tell them about this...

_**It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late**_

I'd take another chance, take a fall  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But it's nothin new  
I loved you with a fire red-  
Now it's turning blue, and you say...  
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid...

**Charlotte's POV**

I looked over to Lewis, he was tapping his fingernails on his desk. He must be nervous about something. I noticed he tends to do that when he is nervous or agitated. His eyes sparkled in the light entering from the class room window, and his hair seemed to glow. He was so pale for living in Australia, but I liked it that way, it was easier to spot him that way. He looked over at me and I smiled. He then looked back at Cleo and gave her a worried look. He then handed her a note, it took her forever to open it, but she finally did. She was getting so pale. She sort of looked like a ghost.

Mrs. Waltine sat patiently in her desk, she always waited for the bell to ring, so she could pounce on any chance to write people up. The bell finally rang as she sprang to her feet. She was a stout woman, quite short too. On top of that, she had what the Americans called Kankles. Haha, I guess thats why they call her Kankley. I looked at the clock, hmm only two minutes past the bell and she hasn't written anybody up yet. She began the lesson and wrote the question of the day on the board. I looked around, someone is missing. But who? Lewis, Nate, Rikki, Cleo, ohhhh. Emma, again.. The door clicked and there she was, in lazy sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. This isnt like her.

"Late again, Emma?" Mrs. Waltine asked, grinning. "Tisk tisk, dear. You know, you were one of the top students in my class and being late for three days straight doesn't help you." She grinned even wider. She loved making a fool of her students.

"It wont happen again, Ma'm." She smiled weakly and took her seat.

"Are you feeling okay?" Mrs. Waltine was sort of concerned. Emma nodded and sunk deeper into her chair. Cleo's head shot over to Emma and she had a look of hate in her eyes. Emma could feel Cleo's burning eyes and glanced over to Cleo. She mouthed something to her, I think it was I'm sorry. Cleo turned and faced forward and started fiddling with her locket. She always did when she was angry. Trust me, I am very observant. Tears built up in Emma's eyes and she wiped them with her hand. Her eyes became puffy and red and she put her head in her hands and put them on the desk. Lewis looked from Cleo and then back to Emma and began to tap his fingernails again. He glanced at me and I smiled at him. His eyes made me feel weak and vulnerable. At times I just wanted to grab him and just start hard core kissing him.. Is that bad? It probably is, but you know in those movies? Where they start hardcore kissing and then they run into the table and knock everything off. I always wanted to do that. But who knows with Lewis, he still is in love with Cleo...

**_I won't try to philosophize  
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes  
This is how I feel  
And it's so surreal  
I got a closet filled up to the brim  
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons  
And I don't know why  
You'd even try  
But I won't lie_**

You caught me off guard  
Now I'm running and screaming

**_And I feel a weakness coming on  
Never felt so good to be so wrong  
Had my heart on lockdown  
And then you turned me around  
I'm feeling like a new born child  
Every time I get a chance to see you smile  
It's not complicated  
I was so jaded_**

* * *

A/N: hmm what does that little note say? hahah dont guess, you probably know. But R&R and tell me what you think. lol i'm off to clean my fish tank, poor little freddy is swimming in dirty water.. so yeah. please R&R and ideas, w/e you want, im open :D


	4. New secrets

**Cleo's POV**

I felt my face grow cold, everything in my body became numb. How could they do this to me? Now I know why I kept to myself the past few days. My hands began to shake and tears flooded my eyes. The only best friend I have right now is Rikki. She is honestly the only one who fucking cares. Emma and Lewis, who knows? They aren't even considered my friends anymore. I sunk into my chair and breathed in deeply. I hate them, I honestly do. They couldn't have taken my feelings into consideration? NO! They just went around and killed my hopes, dreams and our friendships. I wiped a bead of sweat off my forehead and stared at my pencil, which was gently resting in the groove on my desk. I brought my finger to it and picked at the eraser.

"Cleo." My head shot up. It was Mrs. Waltine..

"Yes?" I asked weakly, fighting back the anger and sadness that was raging inside of me.

"Do you know the answer to the question of the day?" I rubbed my eye and glanced over at Lewis's paper.

"Umm, the GPE is three." She nodded at me and proceeding to part two of the question. She picked on Nate. Of course, Nate didn't know the answer, he never did. He just made up a silly answer so the class would laugh and Mrs. Waltine would send him to the dean. It was almost an everyday routine now. I rolled my eyes and glanced at Lewis. He didn't dare to look up now. He didn't dare. I looked over to Emma and her head was resting on her desk. She didn't look so well. Well of course she doesn't, she's a fucking slut. I took the note off of my lap and traced the corners with my fingers again. The 'URGENT!!' was nearly completely smudged from how clammy my hands are. I set it on my desk and handed in my question of the day paper. Rikki grabbed the paper off my desk and the note fell to the ground. Before I could pick it up Zane snatched it from the floor and ripped it open. I sat there jaw open, watching him throw my life away. He knew everything now.. He knew more than Rikki did.. and she is my bestfriend.

**Zane's POV**

I had to grab the note. I had to know what Cleo knew. I started to skim the top. It was just Lewis blabbering on about how sorry he was and how he still loves her and all of that but he made a horrible mistake. Lewis turned to me wideeyed and mouthed 'what are you doing?' I smiled back to him and kept reading.

'Cleo, I'm so so so so soooooo sorry. You have no idea how guilty I feel about this. But when you broke up with me, I was heartbroken and alone. I was angry at you, because we had something special. We possessed potential that no other couple in the history of couples had ever had. I miss you and I'd do anything to have you back. Before I ask for you back, I think I should be completely honest. I wont go into anything in complete detail unless you ask, but I made a huge mistake. Cleo, when you broke up with me I was angry with you, and Emma was there to comfort me. One thing led to another and we ended up doing a few things.. We DIDN'T have sex though. I'm very ashamed of it and she is too, we just want you to know that we are deeply sorry. I wanted to tell you because I thought you had a right to know. Please forgive me Cleo.. -Lewis'

My jaw had dropped. LEWIS AND EMMA! NOOOO! I looked over to Lewis and shook my head. God, Emma likes to get around. I looked to Rikki and guilt filled up inside of me. I never really could be guilty before, or I was it's just that I hid it. I hid things very well, you could say. I guess I learned that from my no good father. He's back to his business plans and everything is the same again. I opened my spiral and grabbed my pencil. I had to tell Rikki. I just have to tell her. It will ruin us, but I can't do this to her. I gripped the pencil and began to write. My hands were beginning to sweat.. I was never this nervous before. I started to feel sick. I turned and handed Rikki the second note. This one would make or break us..

'Rikki, I never feel guilty, but this time we really need to talk.. Meet me at Mako after school. I'll take the boat and you can swim. It's super important.. p.s... I love you..'

I wanted to grab that note back so badly and just tell her forget it.. but she had already opened it.. How do you tell someone for the first time that you love them.. and then in the same day that you had sex with their best friend?

* * *

A/N: Sorry this chapter is so short, the next one will be longer, I promise. But dramatic eh?  
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED about EMMA and ZANE? Hmm R&R porfavor :D


	5. A hot temper

**Rikki's POV**

I looked inside of the note. My fingers curled around the sides of the paper. It was the second one from Zane today, it must be important. I turned it over and there was nothing, usually there was a 'from zane' or another closely designed 'Rikki'. I opened up the small paper.

'Rikki, I never feel guilty, but this time we really need to talk.. Meet me at Mako after school. I'll take the boat and you can swim. It's super important.. p.s... I love you..'

What? This note makes no sense. I want to know what he feels guilty about, but then again I dont. Oh god, I hope he doesn't break up with me.. I haven't been this happy with a guy in forever. He's so good to my friends and me.. I don't know what I would do without him. How can he say something like that and then write I LOVE YOU!? Thats basically impossible, right? Uhhg, I don't know. I looked to Cleo and she was mad. Her forehead was wrinkled and her eyes were narrowed, she looked over to me and snapped her head back at Emma. What did Emma do to her? I wanted to know on so many levels, but then again I honestly don't. I don't want to get inbetween my two bestfriends. I looked over to Lewis and all he did was stare at his pen, which was next to his hand. If he stared at it any harder, I wouldn't be surprised if it started to float. Charlotte was drooling over him, as usual. Everyone knows she has a crush on him, she just denies it. My eyes then wandered over to the clock. We still have a half hour in this stupid class.. I wonder what she'll make us do today?

"Rikki?" Ms. Kankley asked for me. Hah, Ms. Kankley.

"Yes?" I asked her in a mocking tone. She pointed to the board. Uhhg great she wants me to do a problem. I can't do this stuff, I haven't even paid attention for the past week. All i've been doing is writing Zane notes. Dang, I guess I should have paid attention. I slid out of my chair and walked up to the board. I could feel my face getting hotter by the second. I've got to find a way out of this. Everyone's eyes were on me, my face grew hotter and hotter to the point where I couldn't stand it. I moved my hand infront of me and looked at the vase on her desk. I slowly closed my hand as the power surged through my body. The vase began to shake, and then it finally shattered. Yes, just the distraction I needed. I heard a few screams from behind me and I turned to see Mrs. Waltine right next to me, pushing me away from the glass.

"Oh dear, how did this happen?" She brought me to my seat and waddled back up to the remains. "How could this have happened?" She squatted down and looked for something to have caused it. She stood back up and looked at all of the boys. "Hmm, it must have been someone in here." Her eyes jumped from boy to boy. She finally eyed Zane. "You think since your father owns everything you can get away with this, hm?" Her eyes narrowed to him and he stood up.

"You think I did this? I'd like to see some proof." She slammed her hand on her desk.

"Sit down, Zane!" She started to scream.

"No, before you accuse me of something, i'd like to see some proof of your accusation. It's not fair." His hands were starting to curl into fists and he looked at me.

"Zane, calm down, okay?" I whispered to him. He sighed and returned to his chair.

"Good, now lets get to the bottom of this." She waddled around to the side of the classroom and grabbed a broom and dust pan. "Zane? Can you hold the dust pan?" She asked. He stood up and snatched the dustpan from her and squatted down. She scooped all of the tiny pieces of glass into it. "Alright, can you throw it away for me, please?" She flashed her wolfish teeth and he did what he was told.

**Zane's POV**

Every part of me wanted to just pick up the glass and whip it at Ms. Kankley's face. That woman makes me so mad. The only reason why I didn't was because Rikki was there.. The last period bell finally rang. My hands became sweaty as I exited the classroom. How am I supposed to tell Rikki? Will she be mad? Will she cry? I don't know what will happen. I wiped my hands on my khaki shorts and opened my locker. I threw my physics binder in the back of my locker, that thing can burn. I put my Geometry book on the top shelf and closed my locker. I turned and saw Rikki walking super fast down the hall. She must be upset about something. I walked out of the double doors and saw my dad's car parked outside. I hopped into the seat and he put the gear in drive. His hands gripped the steering wheel as if he were choking it to death.

"Long day at work?" I asked, keeping as quiet as I could.

"Yeah." He mumbled. "What's it to you, Zane?" He questioned angrily. I kept my eyes on the dash board the whole time. I knew better than to look him in the eye. "Huh? You got somethin' to say to me?" He raised his voice a little louder. I looked to the floor.

"No, Sir." I folded my hands and rubbed a small scar near my thumb. He finally pulled the car into the driveway. I opened the door and my dad ran into the house. I knew the first place he would go, it's where he always went.. The liqour cabinet. I threw my backpack in my room and grabbed a blue pair of trunks and a sort of matching shirt. I creeped down the stairs and opened the door again. Success! He didn't hear me. I closed it and walked to the dock. It wasn't too far of a walk, only about 10 minutes. I saw Lewis on the dock with Charlotte, he was getting in his boat and he motioned for her to jump in. She giggled and slowly stepped in. I shook my head and fished in my pocket for the keys. Ahah, I found them. I untied the boat and jumped in. Now all I have to do is think of what I have to say..

**Rikki's POV**

I sat on the beach, watching the waves curl into the sand. Should I go? I have no idea what he wants to tell me.. What if he wants to break up with me? I'm so happy with him.. What if he isn't happy with me. What if.. I need to stop over analyzing this. I tossed my sandles down next to me and stood up. I walked towards the water as my feet squished into the sand, leaving tiny footprints. My toes touched the water as I began to sprint. I was about waist deep when I transformed. I began to swim and I reached Mako in under 5 minutes.

**_Step one you say we need to talk  
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk  
He smiles politely back at you  
You stare politely right on through  
Some sort of window to your right  
As he goes left and you stay right  
Between the lines of fear and blame  
You begin to wonder why you came_**

I emerged from the water, Zane wasn't there yet. I rested myself on a rock on the ledge of the moon pool, my tail halfway in the water. I was nervous. A million thoughts at once raced through my head at once. What if he didn't mean that he loved me? What if..

**_Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence  
Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you_**

**_He will do one of two things  
He will admit to everything  
Or he'll say he's just not the same  
And you'll begin to wonder why you came_**

I heard steps from the corner of the cave and saw a shadow. My heart began to pound against my chest. God, I swear i'm having a heart attack. Why did I come? This is pointless.. He's only going to break me somehow.. The footsteps came closer and my heart raced even faster.

**_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life_**

"Zane?" I called out.. and no response.


	6. A Synonym For Acqueise

'Rikki, I never feel guilty, but this time we really need to talk.. Meet me at Mako after school. I'll take the boat and you can swim. It's super important.. p.s... I love you..'

**Rikki's POV**

I heard more footsteps, I think there are two people here. I looked over to a plant in the corner, and swam over to it. If i'm lucky and I stay in the moon pool they won't be able to see me. I squinted my eyes and I saw Charlotte and Lewis appear out of the darkness. She grabbed his hand and sat down on a rock next to the entrance on the cave.

"You're right, Lewis, this is gorgeous." She smiled and leaned in to kiss him, but he turned. "What's wrong?" She asked

"Charlotte, I.. You are attractive and all, but Cleo.." He got to his feet and walked over to the moon pool.

"Cleo? You mean that emo bitch who cuts?" She rushed up to him and grabbed his wrist. "Lewis, I thought you were over her. Come on, you have me now." She pulled him into her grip and she leaned in again.

"No, Charlotte. Would you stop, already? And don't you dare call Cleo that again." He pushed her away and inched closer to the moon pool.

"A cutting emo bitch? Oh, I could call her that all day, Lewis. She doesn't give a damn about you, Lewis. She never cared, all she wanted to do was hurt you. She knew how sweet of a guy you were, but no, she ruined you." She faced towards me and smiled. She knew she had some how won over his emotions. His face had twisted and it looked as if he was all anger.

"How did she ruin me? I'm the same man I was two weeks ago, so don't you blame this on Cleo." He retorted in anger.

"Oh yeah, same guy. Yeah right, Lewis. You know it's true. Cleo killed you. That's what she does, she cuts you down more and more each day until there is nothing left and you take it. You take every last thing from her. You are such a whimp, there is no man there." She turned to face him and Lewis slapped her with all the force he could. Charlotte lost her balance and fell backwards, hitting her head on a nearby rock. I jumped back and Lewis glared at me. He then looked from me to Charlotte and his face had finally untwisted.

"Oh my god, what have I done?" He sounded as if he was going to cry. He gently lifted up her head. Her eyes remained shut. "Rikki, what should I do?" He looked to me and I shook my head. I don't know what to do. If I come out and she wakes up she could see me and this whole thing could be ruined.

"Uhh, Zane should be here any second. He can help you. If she sees me we are all toast." I whispered. I turned around and splashed water at her and hid behind the bush again. Maybe that will help. The water dripped off her face and her eyes opened slowly. She looked into Lewis's eyes and kissed him. Her hands held down the back of his neck, he couldn't move. I splashed water at her again and I swam out of the cave. I hope to god that she didn't see me.. I'll let Lewis deal with his own problems. I emerged from the exit of the cave and searched for Zane. There wasn't a trace of him anywhere.

**_Empty fields move me so much more then rooms filled up with friends  
The way the trees look dead  
Reminds me that there's more to life then living  
Maybe giving up's not bad, but part of letting go of you_**

If I surrender to this feeling maybe all the aches and pains  
Will go and I can close my eyes  
Never again to have them open till I bleed out all I've been  
I don't want to be alone no more  
No more

I swam back home, towards the top of the water, hoping to see Zane. No sign of him still.. I knew this was too good to be true. There is no way Zane could love me and actually say it to me. Maybe write it, but thats it. I'm done, I can't deal with this drama... I can't deal with his roller coaster, i'm getting sick of this. I was finally on the beach where I had left my sandles. Now all I had to do was dry off and I could go home. I sat in the sunlight behind a rock, making sure nobody would see me. So many thoughts rushed through my head, but the one that kept appearing was 'Where is Zane?'. My hair was almost dry, and when it's fully dry I am finally human again. Small crunching noises echoed in the distance. I whipped around to see Zane there, smiling.

"I knew you'd be here." He sat down next to me, as I buried my hands in the sand. "Rikki, I'm sorry, okay? My dad-" He started but then paused. "No nevermind."

"I saw Lewis slap Charlotte." I whispered and forced myself not to cry. I was trying to keep my mind off of Zane, but it's impossible when he is right next to me.

**_So take this razor, sign your name across my wrists  
So everyone will know  
Who left me like this_**

Empty fields move me so much more then rooms filled up  
with friends  
The way the trees look dead  
Remind that there's more to life then living  
Maybe giving up's not bad, but part of letting go of you

"What happened?" He asked, lifting my chin, to look into my eyes.

"Don't touch me, Zane." Tears filled my eyes, my hair was finally dry. Right in the nick of time, my legs appeared. A tear slid slowly down my cheek. "Zane, what do you have to tell me?" My eyes became so blurry that I could bearly see him anymore. Tears rolled down my face as I tried to stand up and escape, but I collapsed in the sand. He grabbed hold of my hand but I slapped his away. He then grabbed my sides and pulled me in. He embraced me as I cried. I just couldn't stop. He didn't even tell me yet and I'm crying.. What's wrong with me...

**_So take this razor, sign your name across my wrists  
So everyone will know who left me like this  
Sew me up my scars run deep  
A reminder not to forget the times that we've had_**

A/N: interesting aye?

well tell me whatcha think, good or bad, doesnt matter :)

p.s. happy birthday to me :DDDDDDD

I'll never waste another second  
I have wasted so much time  
I have wasted wasted so much time  
So much time

So take this razor, sign your name across my wrists  
So everyone will know who left me like this  
Sew me up my scars run deep  
A reminder not to forget the times that we've had

* * *


	7. Hard to understand

**Zane's POV**

I grabbed Rikki and yanked her towards me. She flopped right into my chest and started sobbing into my shirt. I held the back of her head and my shirt became wet. She then collapsed to the ground, it was because of her tail. She sighed and wiped her face, and looked at me.

"What?" She asked and then noticed something. She inched towards me and touched my eye, I flinched and pulled back. "Zane, What's that?" She asked, not touching my eye but getting close enough to examine it.

"It's nothing, just me and my dad got in an arguement." I halfsmiled and turned away. She moved her hand to my shoulder and then the side of my face.

"Is that why you were late, Zane?" Rikki slowly moved her hand so I would look at her again. "Would you please look at me?" She sounded as if she was going to cry again. I looked at her as the wind slowly moved her bangs out of her face. God she was beautiful. Her light skin had a few freckles across her nose and her eyes stood out the most. But what I loved most about her was her smile. I loved it when she smiled. She squeezed my shoulder a little bit to get an answer out of me and I flinched.

"It's nothing, Rikki. Just drop it, okay?" I choked on the last word just to get it out. It was hard to lie to Rikki. I didn't want to tell her, but then again I did. I wanted to tell her so badly. She turned away from me rolled onto her stomach into the sand. Her hands were so elegant. They slowly stretched into the sand and she halfsmiled. The grimace slowly returned to her face as her eyes went from the sand to me.

"Zane, why can't you just tell me?" Her eyes turned darker, just as my father's had an hour ago. Looking into her eyes reminded me of the pain, anger began to over take me as I flexed my hands into tight balled fists.

"I JUST CAN'T, YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THIS!" I screamed into her face, her back slouched and tears returned into her innocent eyes. She buried her face in her hands and began to sob. I couldn't stand this. I got up and ran. I ran away from Rikki and my problems, I just couldn't deal with them. The sand squished under my feet as I increased my speed. The wind whipped through my hair, as everything started to turn into a blur. Why couldn't this be easier? Why couldn't I just tell her everything? I fell face first into the sand and stayed there, I dont know anymore. I felt so dizzy. I propped myself up on my elbows. The sand was so warm, I didn't want to move. I looked up at the sun, it was starting to set. I rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands and closed them. Why were things so difficult. The dizzy feeling finally had started to ease as I layed myself back down into the sand. My cheeks burned against the sand, but it felt great. Pain never felt so real right now, usually I was able to block it out.

I heard crunching in the sand from a distance and lifted my head. After a minute my blurry vision subsided and the figure appeared to be Emma. She was getting closer and closer, she was now only a few feet away. I relaxed my head and put it back down into the comforting sand.

"Did you tell her, Zane?" Her voice seemed shaky. I looked up again and waited for my vision to adjust and looked at her pale face. She was abnormally pale today. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

"She, um. She was talking to me about something else, and she got super upset over it." I shivered remembering her collapsing into tears. Emma's face shifted to a grimace.

"You need to tell her. I already have Cleo mad at me.. I might as well tell Rikki the truth then. " I sighed and Emma slid her pale, small hand to my lap. I lifted her hand and put it back in the sand where it was.

"Emma, If you want to tell Rikki the truth go for it. Go tell her right now. Honestly, I can't deal with it right now." She looked up at me and a frown twitched at the ends of her lips. She then felt her stomach and held up her index finger. "What's wrong?" I looked at her in confusion. She got up and ran towards the garbage can, and leaned over the edge of it.

_Life it seems, will fade away  
Drifting further every day  
Getting lost within myself  
Nothing matters no one else  
I have lost the will to live  
Simply nothing more to give  
There is nothing more for me  
Need the end to set me free_

The gagging noises coming from Emma, made me want to puke. I looked over to her, and hoisted myself up. I walked over to her and brushed the hair away from her face. I knew what this was.. I just don't know how to fix it. I love Rikki with all of my heart and soul... I need Emma to tell me.. if the baby is mine.

_Things not what they used to be  
Missing one inside of me  
Deathly lost, this Can t be real  
Cannot stand this hell I feel  
Emptiness is filling me  
To the point of agony  
Growing darkness taking dawn  
I was me, but now he 's gone_

No one but me can save myself, but it's too late  
Now, I can't think, think why I should even try  
Yesterday seems as though it never existed  
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye


	8. Glimmering truth

_I feel it welling up inside  
And Robert Smith lied,  
Boys do cry and with  
Blood tears in my eyes I'm an Anne Rice novel come to life.  
I can't hide the monster anymore.  
One can, only feel desolate for so long until  
One starts to change into  
Something the mirror doesn't recognize  
Metamorphosize  
The darkness has  
been biding it's time  
To claim its latest victim  
Fresh meat for carnal desires  
To become, what I became  
I viewed the sun for the last time_

**Lewis's POV**

"Charlotte, what the.. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" She looked up and licked her lips.

"That was just what I expected it to be." I could feel my face twist into a frown, I had the sudden urge to slam her head into a rock again.

"Charlotte, I love Cleo. Cleo is my girlfriend. She is the one I wake up for every morning and look forward to seeing her at school, not you. You are a friend. A friend could be defined as someone who is there for you when you need them. This isn't when I need you." Charlotte's eyes burned at mine, she looked like she was going to kill me. I stepped back a few inches. "I need to go see Cleo, I need to talk to her about something." I slowly eased away from her and inched towards the exit/entrance to the cave.

"She hates you, Lewis. You cheated on her with her BEST FRIEND. She must have something missing, and I have it. I've got everything you need. Why can't you just realize that?" Her eyes scanned over me once and then looked at the wall. Her eyes dimmed and I saw a single tear slip down the side of her cheek. Her hands shook as she slowly reached up to wipe it away. "Lewis, why can't you realize that.. that I'm the one, and that I love you?" Her shaking hands covered her face as tears exploded from her eyes. Why do I feel sorry for her? I shouldn't... I should be walking away right now. I really should; but I feel horrible. I walked over and embraced her.

"I'm sorry Charlotte. I'm sorry. I really am." She ripped herself away from me and stormed out of the moon pool cave.

**Zane's POV**

Emma had finally finished puking her guts out and we both sat in the sand.

"Do you want me to tell her, Zane?" She looked to me and bit her lower lip. I examined my foot prints in the sand and then gazed back up at Emma.

"I don't know. All I really know is that I can't tell her right now. I just can't handle it, I really can't." Emma gave a slight chuckle and stretched her arms, her hands and fingers then retreated to her locket. The sun reflected off of her locket and onto my face. I blinked and brought my hands up to my eyes. We sat in silence, I didn't know what to say. How do you just blurt out, hey prego chick is the baby mine? No that's harsh and awkward. I sighed and gazed at the sky. The mixed color of blue and greyish is what appealed to me, it was the color of Rikki's eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" Emma asked, looking up at the sky as well.

"How am I going to tell her, Em? I can bearly tell her I love her, and now I have to tell her what I did to destroy her. What if she ends up like Cleo and does something like that? I don't want her to ruin herself. You know?" All the pain seemed to return at this exact moment, flooding into my head like a rush of adrenaline; but it was only a migraine. It tore at my head making me flinch a little.

"Wait. What did Cleo do?" Some color returned to her face; She searched my face for an explanation.

"She's cutting, Emma. She is super upset about this. Rikki saw her in the moon pool, there are cuts all up and down her arms, they are super deep too." How does she not know this? She is one of Cleo's best friends and she doesn't know?

"Why-- Why would she do that? Cleo would never do that. You've got to be mistaken. It's Cleo." Emma sounded like she was hysterical, her voice started to crack and sound hoarse, water began to build up in her eyes. "She did this because of me?" Her eyes curiously shot over to mine, she needed a reaction from me, she just wanted to hear an answer, specifically the word no.

"No, She was depressed before about her mom leaving, and the break up with Lewis. This might have added on, but it didn't make her do it. So its not your fault, okay?" Emma's face brightened up and she perked up a little, but remained in her hunched stature in the sand. I inhaled deeply, taking in the salty, crisp air and exhaled. "You want me to tell her then?" She slowly nodded and returned to staring at the sand. "Emma, don't worry, she wont hate you. If anything she'll hate me and break up with me. Okay? So don't worry about it." She took in a deep breath and started to speak, but then stopped. I pushed off the ground and finally got up to my feet. "Here goes nothing.." I slapped a fake smile on my face and began to walk back over to Rikki. Jeeze I ran pretty far.

_Will you still hold me when you see what I have done?  
Will you still kiss me the same when you taste my victim's blood?  
So crimson and red, I feel it flowing from your lips.  
My heart is dead, and so are you._

It took me about ten minutes to finally reach Rikki. She was in the shallow water, the water rippling just above her tail. Her golden scales glimmered in the light, she looked like a mythical dream from a fairytale. Tiptoeing to her, my hand gently grazed her shoulder and she shivered. Her golden blond hair blew out of her face to reveal those eyes that make my whole world feel so real. Rikki smiled at me and that made me crumble. I reached over and pressed my lips gently against her cheek, she turned to me with tears in her eyes.

"Zane, I just want-" My fingers traced her cheek bone, I couldn't help myself. I grabbed the nape of her neck and pulled her towards me. I had to kiss her, I had to feel this amazing feeling one more time. I had to feel it before I broke her heart. I don't know if I can tell her. I brought my hand to her cheek and pecked her cheek once again. Come on Zane, you can tell her. You can do this. "Please Zane, just tell me..." She whispered, fighting back tears once again.

"Rikki, I love you. But-" She cut me off.

"Oh jeeze, there is a but.." She lowered her glance to her tail and the water.

"Let me finish, please. So, um, you know the whole thing with Cleo and Emma and Lewis?" I questioned, even though I knew that she knew. She hesitantly nodded, and glared at me. "Well, it's kinda similar with us. I mean, no, it's not. Uhg, yes it is. Rikki, I slept with Emma, and Emma is pregnant."

_And all I have is hope,  
And all i need is time  
To bury in pine under six feet of time the lies I told me about myself.  
Claw my way out, pick the splinters from under my fingernails.  
I won't lose hope, I won't give in.  
Just live and breathe and try not to die again.  
Just live and breathe, try not to die again.  
Just live and breathe, try not to die again.  
I try not to die again._

* * *

_A/N: What should Rikki's reaction be? hmmm who knows, man. R&R please_


	9. Dear Tragedy

_I'm never waking up again  
So I'll never have to find out what you did._

_Each day it's harder to pretend.  
That your eyes aren't lying as much as your mouth did.  
I'd grab your head by your hair and I'd hack it off.  
And put it on display at the front of the yard on a stick that's decorated with a little pink bow  
And a sign that says "Her friends and family should have taught her more about love."_

**Rikki's POV**

"She's what?" It took me a minute to realize what had actually just happened. He just told me that he loved me and he sleeps with Emma? How does this work.

"I- I'm sorry Rikki. I-" He started but ended up quieting as he looked into my eyes.

"Don't look at me Zane. This doesn't make any sense! First you tell me you love me, and then you go with Emma? How could you?" My hands began to shake, as I was more frustrated. I could feel the pain and sorrow inside of my chest, welling up and stabbing at the wall of my chest like knives.

_Dear Tragedy  
I never had anybody.  
But being alone wasn't half as bad as being obsessed  
With a, breath taker, a smile faker.  
But these years alone have eaten me alive. _

"Rik-" I couldn't stand listening to the lies anymore. Anger built up inside of me, I was going to explode.

"Zane! I'm sick and tired of this! I just can't Zane. You lied to me, and betrayed me. I'm going for a swim, then going home. Do NOT even try and call me." Breathing heavily, I stared at him and then pushed myself a little further into the water. The water was calming in a sense. I don't know what it is, but it lets me get out the extra steam.

I jerked back a little and realized that Zane was holding onto my wrist. His grip tightened as I groaned. Splashing and moving in the water, he wouldn't let me go!

"Zane, you're hurting ME! I swear if you don't let-" I screamed, finally he released my wrist with an expression of fear flashing across his face. I hate him so much. Why would he do this? My eyes flooded with tears, I couldn't be here anymore. I pushed myself further into the water once more and started swimming. I can't hide back this emotion, I just can't. I love him so much...

_Recounting pages in a book. That I'd torn out ashamed that one day you'd look.  
Afraid that once you did you'd really know how it felt to be a sucker on a string that you dragged around wherever you'd go.  
I'm running around, around and it hurts.  
Tempted to tape up the pages I'd ripped.  
And although I recognize that we're attached at the lips  
That you're the one in charge and that the captain's gotta sink with the ship. _

**EMMA'S POV**

_I wonder  
If I said the right things  
Would this wound have bled so much  
Words are all that we have left for us_

Should I? I have no idea. I need to talk to her about this, I really do. She used to be my best friend. How could Cleo do that to herself? She would always be the one to put a positive perspective on things. I need her right now, more than anything.

Hesitantly, I brought my hand up to the door and knocked. This is a bad idea. I should go. I heard footsteps from the door and it opened. Cleo's face appeared and she started closing the door.

"Cleo, wait. Can we please talk? Please?" Her face dropped as she stepped out from the door and closed it.

"What is there to talk about, Em?" She folded her arms and started walking as I trailed behind.

"Well number one, what I did was horrible, okay? But please, don't hate me for it." Cleo nodded and then pushed her glance forward. "Number two, I- I'm so sorry, Cleo. I had no idea it was this bad. If I knew it was this bad I would have been there for you-"

"Woulda, shoulda, coulda. Emma, it doesn't make a difference. You did stuff with the guy I love, and then you stopped talking to me. And what were you not there for?" She shot me a glance of suspicion.

_And I thought you were stronger than ones before  
When I said that I needed some time  
I didn't expect you to quit  
Now that I lost you  
Feels like I lost myself  
I found regret_

"Let me see, Cleo. I want to see them. That is what i'm getting at." She sighed and hesitated at her sleeve.

"Why? Why is it so important to you?" Cleo stomped a little forward, but we continued walking.

"Cleo, you are my best friend. I'm concerned, I just miss you and I really do care. Please, just show me." Again she hesitated at her sleeve, and looked around. She didn't want Kim to know. She slowly rolled up her shirt and I flinched. Several deep scars running across her arm caught my eye as I immediately walked forward to touch them. Two deep cuts etched into her wrist caught my attention most. It looked as if it were words of some sort. She quickly tore down her sleeve and searched around anxiously. I inched closer towards her, as we strode on the sidewalk. "Oh my-. Cleo? Why?" I questioned. I can't believe that she did this.

"I needed something... I needed something to feel real to me again. I don't know, like something to make me feel alive. I was just super depressed and needed something you guys couldn't give me." I felt a sudden akwardness between us. We haven't talked in so long, I missed this so much. I nodded in acceptance towards her answer, god I need to think of a way to tell her the other part...

"Um Cleo? I know we just started talking again, but I need to tell you something else." Cleo raised her eyebrows in confusion and shoved her hands into her pockets. I have her undivided attention. "I don't know to exactly put this, but I'm about to lose everything. You have to understand, and please back me up, if you can. Um, how do I say this?" We turned around the corner, we were at the beach.

"Just spit it out, Emma. It can't be worse than mine." She moved her hands to her arms, and then looked to me in approval. I glanced out to the water, tears flowing to my eyes.

"Well I-" A scream from behind the rocks caught our attention. We both looked to eachother and sprinted to the rocks. We finally peer around the rocks, and there was Zane, collapsed in the sand, thrashing from side to side. He was ceasing.


	10. This is how it feels

**Emma's POV**

"Oh my god, ZANE!" We screamed in unison as we ran to his side.

"No! Don't touch him, Cleo." She was horrified, it looked as if she was about to break down and cry. "Cleo, can you please call 9-1-1 and tell them where we are? Tell them Zane is ceasing." I tried to sound as calm as possible, I just couldn't. I can't handle this. Why would Zane be ceasing? He is a healthy guy. What could be wrong with him? I need his help, he can't die on me now. I need his help with the baby. I need him to help me decide. I looked up at Cleo, she was in hysterics. Cleo mindlessly muttered things into the phone, I'm not even sure if she told the person where we were. I got up and grabbed the phone from her.

"Ma'm are you alright?" The lady on the phone asked.

"Yeah, it's just our very close friend is having a seizure. We don't know what to do." I started and she finally cut me off, I was close to Cleo's condition, oh so very close.

"The ambulance should be there in a few minutes, your friend will be fine. Just stay on the line, okay? That way I can determine if they got there alright. Do you hear sirens yet?" I pulled the phone a few inches from my ear and looked around.

"No, not yet." I looked down at Zane, he was still thrashing about. "W-What are we supposed to do? I-I-" I was starting to stutter. I inhaled deeply and listened to the calm voice on the other end of the line. I started to tune her out, in actuality she was kind of annoying. She had a slight lisp and was nasally. In the distance I could finally hear the ambulance. "I hear it. I hear the sirens." Finally.. I was starting to get sick of this lady.

"Alrighty, are you okay?" I sighed and looked to Cleo; She was being embraced by Lewis, he must have just got here.

"I'm fine." I closed the phone and shoved it into my pocket in disgust. For a 9-1-1 lady, she was horrible. The paramedics finally reached Zane as he stopped ceasing a moment before they got to his side. One of them looked up at me, I was biting my nails. He looked away to Zane and then back to me. He was an attractive paramedic. I'd say about 5'11 almost 6 foot, but not quite. His hair was a dark blond, but his best feature were his eyes, which were exaggerated by the hair. His eyes were deep pools of blue, much like the crystal water in the moon pool. The pretty paramedic was now at least a foot from me.

"Are you okay?" I looked up at him and nodded. "Can I ask you a few questions about him?" He grinned slightly and motioned for me to follow him to the ambulance. "I'm going to need you to come with me to the hospital while we figure out what is wrong with, uhh-" He glanced at me for Zane's name.

"Zane Bennett" I mumbled and looked over to Zane. I was helpless. The paramedic nodded and walked me to the ambulance.

"You his girlfriend?" He asked in an odd accent I've never heard before. It was like a cross between English and Australian. I shook my head and we hopped into the ambulance. I looked to Cleo once more. Lewis was clinging to her, he was keeping her composure, well sortof. The doors slammed and the sirens went on. This was all surreal... I'm pregnant from Zane and Zane is strapped to a gurney. What's wrong with everything... How did things get this way?

**Rikki's POV**

_Wasn't it me you didn't want?  
Wasn't it me who was hanging on?  
Now I'm done but before I go I  
want you to know ..._

_This is how it feels  
When you wait for a call that never comes  
Are you waking up 'cause  
you miss someone?  
This is how it feels  
When the trust you had is broken,  
And your left to burn with  
your heart wide open_

I sat on a rock in the moon pool. This was our place that we came to relax and get away from the world. I need to get away. Right now I wish I could swim to Fiji with the dolphins, but then I would be leaving Emma and Cleo. Even though Emma slept with Zane, I'm more upset with Zane than Emma. Zane told me he loved me and then cheated on me... How does that work? It doesn't. I looked down at my wrist and gently pressed my thumb against the already nasty purple bruise. Why do things have to be so difficult now?

_You wanted me, not to tell me why  
Why and how you had the heart to  
fuck up my whole life  
That's just so you  
_

Holding my wrist, I slowly eased back into the water. I really should get home, I need a nap and i'm tired of crying. My back scraped against the wall of the moon pool, as I slid back into the water. I groaned, I'm pretty sure it broke skin. Swimming back to shore, I blocked out almost everything, that's one thing I'm actually good at.

Finally reaching shore, I laid myself in the sand and took in the warmth. I rolled over onto my back and flinched. I definitely broke open skin... I heard loud footsteps in the distance and turned to see Cleo and Lewis.

"Rikki! We've been looking everywhere for you!" Cleo belted out, walking closer and she glanced at my face. "Have you been crying?" She curiously bent down and searched my face.

"Never mind that. Why were you looking for me?" I wiped my nose and looked up to her and Lewis.

"It's Zane. He's uh- Lewis? Lewis can you tell her, please? I just can't." She turned to him and his eyes shot from Cleo to me.

"Rikki, he's in the hospital. He, um, had a seizure. They are doing tests right now, but they have no idea what's going on. Room 251, if you want to visit." Lewis grimaced at me and attempted a smile, but his attempt failed.

Zane is in the hospital... I can't believe this. What if he dies and the last thing I said to him was me screaming at him to let me go.

_Can it be easier?  
Can I just change my life?  
Cause it just seems to go bad everytime  
Will I be mending?  
another one ending once again_

_Cause baby  
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart  
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart  
Gotta pick myself up where do I start  
Cuz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart  
No_

"Do you want to go with us? We are going to visit him later." Cleo added, in hopes that I would speak up. I shook my head and turned back to the sea. The sun was starting to set, and pastel colors sweeped the sky. My eyes were mesmerized by the orange and red, mixed with the pink clouds. Shapes of Zane's face haunted the sky, almost every cloud reminded me of him. The purple red mix in the sky was almost a perfect match to my wrist bruise. "Alright Rikki, we'll see you there later. If you visit." I heard crunching in the sand and a sigh from Cleo. They were finally leaving. I heard a few departing words, but they are indiffrent.

"Should we tell her?" I heard Cleo whisper to Lewis.

"Tell her what Zane said when he thought he was dying? No! If he wants her to know he would have told us to tell her." Their voices soon faded, and then finally disappeared. I felt my body shake, and I was back to human. I dry fast. I slowly pulled myself up onto my legs and started to walk home. If that is where I end up going...


	11. Heart Shaped Locket

**Zane's POV**

I opened my eyes and looked at the encasing white room. How did I get here? Am I in a hospital room? Looking around the room revealed that in fact that it was a hospital room. I only remember fighting with Rikki and she swam away. Glancing to my left, Emma was resting in a small salmon colored chair. She looks so tired, I guess I shouldn't disturb her. Emma's perfume filled my nose as i inhaled. That sweet smell of her favorite kiwi perfume, it was one of the perfumes I could actually tolerate.

A petite, blonde nurse walked in and pressed two buttons on a machine to my right. She turned the beep off, thank god, it was getting on my nerves. She looked up at me and her lips twitched.

"Any pain or Nausea, Zane?" She picked up my chart and flipped to the last page, and grabbed a small hello kitty pen from her front pocket of her scrubs.

"My head hurts a bit." I winced as I stroked a bandage on the back of my head. She nodded and scribbled something down. I heard a yawn escape from Emma's lips she glanced in my direction. "Good morning, sunshine." She giggled, then stretched. I wonder how long i've been in the hospital. How did I even get here? The nurse smiled again, and stepped out of the room, clutching my chart in her hands. Emma stood up and sat next to me on my bed. "What happened, Emma? I don't remember any of this."

She folded her arms across her chest and opened her mouth. "You had a seizure, Zane. Cleo and I found you at the beach, and then you had another one once you got to the hospital. They are doing some blood tests right now, but they said it's likely you'll need an MRI." Her eyes dropped to her arms.

"What's wrong, Em?" It looked as if she was about to cry. Her eyes glistened with tears as she grimaced towards me.

"Zane, you have no idea how scared I was when we found you on the beach. Cleo was in hysterics, and it was hard enough trying to keep my composure. I just don't want anything to happen to you, I need you so much right now." I patted the spot next to me and then my shoulder. Gently, she followed my silent instructions as she cried. "I-I just don't know. Everything is spinning and it seems like I can't do anything right. I haven't even told my mum yet. I haven't really told anybody. Zane, I just d-don't know what to d-do." My hand slid up her arm and grasped her chin, I faced her towards me.

"Listen Emma, you tell people when you are ready. As for your mum, I suggest you tell her as soon as you can. You aren't a screw up, I am. It's okay." She sniffed a few times and laid her head on my chest. Her sniffs slowly decreased over time and finally stopped.

"Why are you a screw up?" Her voice croaked as i felt her head shift position to look upward at me.

"I screwed things up with Rikki. I screwed alot up." The nurse came back in and placed my chart at the foot of my bed. She smiled at Emma and I and walked out. "Rikki means alot to me, and i've never felt this way about anybody before, and I dont know. I just screwed up our relationship up and i screwed her up." Emma was slowly rubbing my chest, it was comforting, but akward. That's what Rikki does to calm me down. I gently nudged Emma off my chest, so she would be sitting up.

"What is it?" She rubbed her eyes and her perfume carressed my nose once more.

"We can't do this." She stopped rubbing her eyes and gave me a look of confusion.

"Do what?" She grabbed my hand and looked at me again, with the same look that happened right before we made the life changing mistake of the living being inside of her.

"We just can't. I love Rikki, I really do. I want to make things right with her, and I can't if you are sitting here trying to play me like this." She gripped my hand harder and closed her eyes.

"You think i'm trying to play you? Zane, all I want is help with THIS baby, which YOU helped created. Nobody at school will know its yours, but I have to wear this on my stomach. Everyone will know in a month or two. You just don't understand." She opened her eyes and she looked as if she was going to cry.

"No, I'm sorry, Em. I just want to be with Rikki. I'll help support you, of course, but I need to be with Rikki. She's my other half." I halfsmiled, but she understood what I meant. Thank god...

"Would it be too much to ask for a hug? I don't know it feels like a hugging kind of moment." She grinned and I nodded. Her arms flung around me and started to cry. I don't know why she was crying, but she was. I put my hand on her back and rubbed her back a little to attempt to calm her down. I opened my eyes and looked over her shoulder, and there was Rikki, jaw dropped and all. I jumped and pushed Emma off.

"Rikki, this isn't what it looks like, I swear." She gave me a look of disgust and threw a small stuffed bear on the floor that she got for me.

"It's exactly what it looks like. I can't believe you, Zane. I'm so stupid and actually believed you before, pshh how dumb I was." She stormed out of the room, leaving the bear with a small locket on it. It was no ordinary locket, it was a small heart locket with a key next to it. Key to her heart. Man, I fucked up again...

**Rikki's POV**

I looked at the gift I had been making for Zane for our 6 months. I started on it last month, and with alot of mistakes on it and redos it was finally finished. I also saved up enough money to manage and buy him this necklace or chain that he adored at the store, but was too afraid to buy it.

_You were talking to her  
But messing with me  
It's finally clear  
You're blurring the lines  
Are you disturbed?  
Oh, now you care  
Why do you race through my red lights?  
_

I walked down the street to the hospital. What room is he again? Should I go? I don't know. I started to turn around, but I forced myself back to my path. Zane needs me and I'll be there for him no matter what. I love him so much, and maybe all of the drama is finished. Maybe that was the worst. I grinned and pushed past an older couple dressed in tourist clothing. He was wearing a hawaiian t-shirt, which had nothing to do with Australia, but whatever floats his boat, I guess.

_Can't understand  
I'll slow it down for you_

Tell me how can you sleep?  
How can you breathe?  
Baby tell me how  
How you love me now  
Tell me how can you sleep?  
How can you breathe?  
I hate when you say  
How you love me now

I was finally to the entrance of the hospital. How pathetic I look, standing here with a bear, trying to win back the boy I love. How pathetic... I grinned and walked up to the desk, hoping the secretary would notice my standing there. Whatever. I'll go find him myself.

Walking through the halls, an eerie feeling passed through me. I shouldn't be here. I glanced at the name on the door, this is it. I inhaled deeply and shoved myself into the door. I immediately frowned, oh how much I hate him right now.

_Save  
Save it for her  
I'm not gonna hear  
Your reasons and "please-just-take-me-backs"  
We never were right  
Don't waste your breath  
You crashed and you're on your own tonight_

_Lights out  
I found out  
My falling star  
Goodbye  
The sun rises here  
There's no more you and I_


	12. All that i've got

**Lewis's POV**

I grabbed Cleo's hand as we walked down the beach. This would be romantic if she wasn't just sobbing to me for ten minutes about everything. She told me she loves me and that we shouldn't have broken up, she also said she misses her mom. The only thing I could manage to let out is "It will all be okay, I promise." Why would I promise her something like that? That was an idiot move, Lewis... I'm not psychic! We continued to walk the beach in silence, we were getting closer to her house. The sand seeped into my sandles, but the warmth to my feet felt nice. Her hands felt like ice, even with my clammy hands intertwined with hers. Her arm brushed up against mine and made me shiver. Why was she so cold?

_I guess I remember every glance you shot me  
Unharmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat_

She kept shooting me these glances of sadness. Why? Was she upset that we were sort of together again? I just couldn't figure out what she was sad about. I don't understand. Cleo is so confusing! I wish that she came with a manual sometimes, it would be easier to understand her at least. Cleo was confusing in such ways that her body language did not match what she said. She was silent most of the walk, but a few things she said didn't make sense. It was sort of like she was speaking another language that I couldn't comprehend. We were finally to her front door as she pushed it open, she squeezed my hand.

"Dad? Kim?" She announced, looking around each corner. She checked the couch, where they usually where. No sign of them. She held onto the banister of the stairs and called to them. Striding into the kitchen, her hair whipped past me as she examined the table. I could smell her shampoo, it was a sort of lilac shampoo. I always loved the way Cleo smelled. She finally gazed at the post it note on the table, which read 'Went to your mom's house to pick a few things up. Be back later. Love, Dad and Kim' She turned to me and smiled.

"What?" I grimaced and walked past her into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and grabbed a soda. Opening it, I leaned against the fridge, sipped the orange crush and glanced at cleo. She took her seat and smiled at me again. Again, I wish I could understand what she was thinking.

"Lewis, this is the first time my dad left me home alone, with a boy. With you, for that matter." I couldn't follow what she was saying. So what if he did. She stood up strode over to me, her hands gently grazing mine and then intertwining them once again. She leaned forward and softly kissed me, parting my lips with hers. A warm feeling washed over me, this was the first actual kiss we shared. I wanted to push her off, but I wanted this so badly. She was the one I wanted to say 'I do' to, only she didn't know this yet. Her hands escaped mine and slowly worked their way around my neck. She slowly pulled away from my lips and moved hers down my neck, her hands slowly moving down to my chest and then my waist. She tugged at my button and I grabbed her hand.

"Cleo, I don't think this a good idea." I said sternly. She didn't like this idea and backed away from me with her hands up. I wanted this more than anything, but I didn't want to face the consequences. I was a coward. She turned away and headed for her room

_I squoze so hard  
I stopped your heart from beating_

"Just leave then, Lewis. There is no point in you being here if you want to play the good guy." Her voice shook and I knew she was going to cry soon. I reached out for her wrist and yanked her back to me. She thudded into my chest and her lips met mine again. Mine crushed down on hers, but she didn't seem to notice. She kissed back just as fierce. We slowly started inching towards her room. I could tell by what we knocked down in the process.

_So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me,  
Off guard  
Red handed; now I'm far from lonely  
Asleep I still see you lying next to me  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me_

Her hand frantically reached for the doorknob, leaving her lips attatched to mine. She finally opened the door and flung us into her room. My hands lingered from the nape of her neck to the small of her back. Our breathing became rapid as we clumsily fell onto her bed. I couldn't help myself, I attempted to unbutton her shirt and basically ripped it off. Her hands were quicker than mine, she immediately removed my shirt and her soft hands of silk lunged at my pants and fumbled to unbutton them. Should I stop her? She succeeded and attempted to rip down my pants. My hands gently fell to her wrists again. She flipped herself over and pouted on the other side of the bed. I reached over and smoothed out her hair, it was matted, but still soft. Tears flowed down her cheeks as I held her deeply into my arms, not wanting to let go. What have I done?

_I need something else  
would someone please just give me?  
Hit me and knock me out  
And let me go back to sleep  
I can laugh all I want inside  
I still am empty  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me.  
_


End file.
